


Koi No Yokan

by doontpanic



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doontpanic/pseuds/doontpanic
Summary: Clarke introduces Bellamy to a friend and realizes that Bellamy dating someone else is not quite ‘okay’ as she thought it would be.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Gina Martin, Clarke Griffin & Wells Jaha
Comments: 25
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the errors are mine. 
> 
> The title of this story "Koi No Yokan" is a Japanese phrase that means "the feeling when you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with them."

Have you ever felt a potential love for someone? Like, you don’t actually love them and you know you don’t, but you know you could. You realize that you could easily fall in love with them. It’s almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it’s just not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don’t love them. You could, though. You know you could.

 **I – Bellamy.**

When Octavia was ten year old, she insisted that Bellamy helped her to climb a tree because she really needed seeing what the world was like “in the eyes of the giants.”

And of course, at the age of 16, Bellamy thought it was all stupid, but Octavia started to cry so much that her cheeks were red with tears, so two minutes later, he found himself holding his sister on his shoulders so that she could support herself on one of the trunks.

It didn't take long for Octavia to fall over and dislocate her left arm. The tears came back, and Bellamy found himself running with her to the hospital.

Probably, it was the first day of his life that he knew what panic meant, but it was also the day he met Clarke Griffin.

She was 12 and dangling her legs, bored in the hospital waiting room while waiting for her mother to finish an appointment when Bellamy and her mother went in a desperate search for help.

Clarke's mother, Abby Griffin, ended up helping without charging medical expenses, and while the adults were talking, Octavia and Clarke discovered that they had several things in common, including a Sponge Bob band-aid.

A year later, Bellamy found out that Clarke’s parents divorced and she was his new neighbor.

\---

Octavia was constantly finding a reason to bring Raven and Clarke at home. It was no longer a surprise when at the most inconvenient times possible, he would answer the door and the two would greet him laughing and euphoric as they pushed him aside to hug his sister.

Bellamy had friends, too.

Murphy, Jasper, and Monty also appeared to play video games or drag him to a bar, but things always seemed more intense between the girls.

That day, the girls were on the couch and started talking about something about the semester finals and how they couldn’t wait for their summer break, so Bellamy decided to go up to his room and continue his science fiction reading.

Everything was so much better when he could find time for himself in the silence of his room. The bookshelf that held few but good books and which held most of the opinions that formed his personality over the years was what made him so proud.

He had an armchair by the window and settled into it while positioning the book near the sunlight for better reading and for a few hours he forgot it was in his apartment and on his skin. His eyes darted over the words written on those pages, and all he could feel was the pleasure of being as lucky as an incredible story like that available to anyone who could take a few hours of reading out of their day. For a few seconds, his mind drifted over how he wanted other people to even have access to books and education, and he was more certain than ever of the profession he would assume in a few years: teaching.

A few hours later, Bellamy decided to go downstairs and get something to drink in the kitchen, and as he walked down the hall toward the stairs he overheard a question from Octavia that caught his eye:

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t date my brother?”

 _"You"_ could be Raven or Clarke, and he couldn’t tell if he’s waiting for the answer made him anxious or nervous, but he couldn’t help hiding to hear the rest of the conversation.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Clarke. It was Clarke. It wasn’t as if Clarke was the girl he was pining since forever and no one knew it, because she was the girl he was pining since forever and everyone knew it. At least his friends. But Bellamy never imagined that he would have a confession from her like that. He felt uncomfortable and a coward to hear an involuntary confession this way, but he also feared this might be his only chance to know how she felt about him.

“I just never thought of that before,” Clarke said. “We’ve known each other for years, and nothing has ever happened between us.”

“Um … But everyone always thought something was going on between you two.” Raven said.

“That’s because we always hang out together, even in college, people don’t understand that men and women can be just friends. Without ulterior motives."

"So you never had a crush on him?” Octavia asked laughing.

“Shut up. Your brother is at home; you know that? He could hear us.”

Octavia shrugged. “Clarke. I'm serious. If Bellamy started dating… wouldn’t you care?”

"No, okay?” she answered quickly. “It’s none of my business.”

Well. If he needed some answers, he had them. He went downstairs, and the three of them stared at him in alarm. Bellamy put his hands in his pocket and headed for the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a small bottle of beer.

In Korean movies, they called it _soju_ and it always helped the characters deal with difficult emotions.

Bellamy hoped that would help him too.

\--

**II - Clarke**

Clarke got her first job at an elementary school as an art teacher. It was not the perfect job, but she was finally working on something she liked and could finally have some financial independence and for that, she wanted to celebrate.

So, after she received her first salary, she made sure to bring her friends to celebrate.

At 23, she could no longer bear the idea of crowded places or loud music. Raven had commented that the reason for that was that Clarke was getting old, which she strongly disagreed with.

People just had this attitude of walking annoyingly slowly in crowded places. And they always drank too much and ended up fighting over places, and Clarke also hated small talk.

Raven insisted that that was because she was old.

Clarke gave up explaining.

After college, Clarke moved in with his father for the sake of her own sanity. Her mother still made speeches about her life's choices. Her father was more patient and listener. She liked living with Jake.

Clarke got her friends together at their house and they celebrated as introvert fully as possible: entertained with pizza, beer, and some random songs that Jasper swore were great.

It felt so good to be with people that you didn't have to make an effort to know or to make them like you, and although she wasn't as close to Murphy and Monty as she would like, it was nice to have them around.

The boys chatted excitedly about some new band they discovered last weekend, and Murphy stretched his feet on the coffee table trying to pay attention to their conversation and to understand what the hell a NEFFEX was about. Clarke laughed at Murphy's expression every time Jasper tried to rhyme.

Around seven o'clock, Bellamy got up and went to help Clarke bring more pizza to the living room when the doorbell rang.

"You made it!" Clarke said as soon as she opened the door and hugged the guest.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm late."

“No problem at all. Come in. Let me introduce you to my friends.”

Her name was Gina. Clarke and she became friends after they had shared the same training course at school as they taught.

Gina was fun and easy to talk to. She had that easy smile and personality type that drew everyone around her, so when Clarke's friends cheered up to get to know her better, Clarke was unsurprising.

But at some point, something caught her eye.

As everyone talked (Raven was arguing with Octavia on how could she watch Japanese movies when it made her cry and Octavia begged Raven to understand that Monty had recommended and he _always_ had good taste) Gina started exchanging glances with Bellamy and Clarke for a few seconds felt the atmosphere of the environment change.

"What's his name again?" Gina whispered to Clarke.

She looked at her in surprise. "Bellamy."

At that moment, Bellamy looked away and seemed interested again in what Murphy was saying, but Clarke was not stupid. She and Bellamy had been friends for years, and she could read on his expression when he was upset, sad, or excited.

Clarke hasn't known it yet, but a few hours later she would regret the words she would say now.

"If you want, I can introduce you two."

Gina smiled and Clarke smile back.

–--

"Of all the people getting a girlfriend for my brother, you were the last one I thought about," Octavia confessed as she watched Clarke drink another bottle of soju. "Again, why do you like this?"

"It's delicious, want to try?"

Octavia declined.

"They seem to be having fun," Raven commented and Clarke and Octavia joined her to peek.

“Bellamy and Gina are cute together. And for him to laugh, she's probably a nerd too.”

They all laughed, and Clarke sipped her beer again. She was starting getting tipsy.

\--

**I — Bellamy**

Gina was fun. She knew all about science fiction and loved listening to his songs. He liked the way her hair fell to her shoulders or the way her fingers ran through his hair.

Her friends also enjoyed having her around and doing Just Dance competitions.

It had been years since he remembered what it was like to have someone who come for him and stay for him.

\---

**II — Clarke**

Okay. So, here's a secret Clarke never had the courage to tell anyone: since she was 14, she had a crush on Bellamy.

It started when she broke her ankle playing tennis at school, and he and Octavia come to her house to find out how she was doing. Sometime that night, Octavia went to use the bathroom, and she and Bellamy sat on her bed and he touched her ankle that was still swollen and bandaged.

Late in summer it was always raining at this time, and she tried hard to convince herself that that was the reason she shuddered when his fingers touched her skin.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

She said “yes” and explained that she was cold. He got up and closed her bedroom window, but even without the wind or breeze to bother her, she couldn't control the way her heart was still beating faster than usual. He was oblivious about that, but Clarke could never look at him the same way again.

She spent years trying to ignore how she felt.

Between the two of them, all she wanted most was to be one of the girls he had on a weekend date, but they were so taller and prettier than she was. Girls who were in high school and had much more experience.

Over the years, learning to deal with these feelings has become inevitable. Clarke couldn't imagine a situation where Bellamy would find out how she felt about him and had to step back in respect to Octavia.

No.

That was why either Clarke used to mock and laugh every time the girls talked about Bellamy or insinuated how they would make a cute couple together. She was sure that if he heard the others talking about it, he would find it offensive, and Clarke couldn't stand the thought of being rejected or seeing herself in his eyes as the immature girl that she knew she was. At least for him. She would never be good enough. 

So the night before when she realized the way Gina and Bellamy were flirting right in front of her, she didn't know what to do and out of impulsiveness she introduced them. (And maybe because she thought that was the right thing to do.) At one time or another Bellamy would find a moment alone with Gina and they would end up where they are today anyway. That was what Clarke was trying to make herself believe.

But still, it hurt to hear Octavia say she had arranged a date for him. And it hurt, even more, to watch, to pretend it was okay when she and her friends spied on them flirting on the porch of her house.

\---

The worst part was yet to come when Clarke realized that she inadvertently became the friend who would have to hear Gina gushing on Bellamy.

"He's so charming." Gina started as Clarke tried to unlock her locker in the staff room. "He has a mark of expression here," and with a hand, on Clarke's shoulder, Gina asked her to turn around so she could demonstrate."Right here near the nose, it wrinkled when he laughs."

Clarke tried to find it funny and imagine the situation. It wasn't as if she could deny or share anything about some boyfriend of hers, wouldn't even ask Gina to stop talking about Bellamy. They were friends. And friends supported each other when they were in other relationships.

Right?

Clarke listened to her for hours and days. About how Bellamy loved science fiction and planned to travel to London. The way he shrugged when he was embarrassed, or how the curls of his hair fell over his eyes whenever he washed them.

Clarke knew that. Of all this. Because she spent years with him.

From the day he came home wearing All-Star and was radiant about it. Or the day he got low in math and he spent days upset about it. Or the year she failed a semester of history and he spent the next six months behind her with books and YouTube channels that would help her.

Clarke knew her best friend maybe more that she knew about her own life and the fact that Gina was so full of herself for discovering things that Clarke already knew ... was driving her crazy.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. :) I know I said this was going to be ''two chapters'' but part 2 had like 8k words, and I wanted to know your thoughts before I wrap the story. :D
> 
> so a few things before you read it:
> 
> 1\. I really love Octavia. Like, really love her. that’s why you won’t see much of raven, but she’s in the story, okay. lol
> 
> 2\. I hate Abby. That’s why Jake is alive, and well.
> 
> 3\. Wells is alive, too. And so is Aurora, but she’s like, alive and minding her own business. 
> 
> 4\. I couldn’t stand writing echo (i really don’t know how to write her), so that’s why Gina is everywhere. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

**I - Bellamy**

Near the end of the summer, his friends decided to enjoy a day at the beach. Bellamy loved the idea of leaving town, if only for a few hours; maybe he would take one of his books that he was finishing and could be distracted from the job interview he would face in three days.

They met at Polaris and rented a vacation house for two days. It was great because everyone could have their privacy and he would have some time alone with Gina.

As soon as they arrived, Jasper ran to the sea without caring about Raven's screams for him to come back and help the group.

"What's wrong with this boy..." Raven grunted taking the sunglasses off and putting them on her hair.

"Easy, grandma..." Clarke smiled teasingly. "He's just having fun."

Raven rolled his eyes and ignored Clarke.

Bellamy sat on the towel they had spread out on the sand and crossed his arms over his knees, watching the ocean.

It didn't take long for Clarke and Monty to join Jasper at the sea. Bellamy smiled when he saw his friends splashing water, laughing and chasing each other.

"We could go to that restaurant tonight," Gina said.

Bellamy turned to look at Gina at his side, pointing the phone at him.

"Yeah, it looks cool," he replied and went back to looking at Clarke and the others in the water.

Gina turned to see what was holding his attention.

"You care about her a lot, uh?" Gina asked quietly and Bellamy shook his head as if he hadn't heard right. “Clarke. You are very close to each other.”

"Uh... Yeah, I think so." He ran his hands through his hair and threw it back.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Uh... we were neighbors."

Gina nodded, but something in her eyes bothered Bellamy.

"Is everything okay?"

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, everything is fine.” She smiled and kissed him.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Bellamy took her face in his hands and stroked her cheeks.

She didn't respond, but smiled and then laid her head on Bellamy's shoulder.

He cared about her. Gina was a good person and he didn't want her to feel insecure or upset for whatever reason it was. In time, Bellamy hoped she would be more comfortable with confessing anything to him.

After a while, Clarke and the others returned to the sand.

"We're going for a walk to that side of the beach, do you want to come?" Monty was still gasping and laughing while Clarke was still splashing water on his face.  
"Stop it," Monty said, and Clarke smacked a kiss on his cheek then crouched down to pick up a bottle of water.

"I'm in. But first I need to eat.” Everyone agreed with Raven and sat down.

After some time, only Bellamy and Gina remained in place while the rest of the group went for a walk.

"Come on," Bellamy said as soon as his friends left. He stood up and held out his hands to her. "Come on, let's go into the sea."

Gina smiled and took his hands. Bellamy started running hand in hand and she laughed when he pulled her close to him.

They were enjoying themselves in the water when Gina stopped abruptly and turned back to face the beachfront. Bellamy looked at her with concern.

"Gina?"

"Isn't that Murphy?"

Bellamy turned to look and in fact "that" was Murphy. But not only him, the rest of the group soon came running after him. Something was wrong. They ran back to the sand.

"What happened?" Gina asked.

Clarke was on Murphy's lap and hid her face with an obvious expression of pain. Bellamy watched Octavia and Raven run to call for help.

"Clarke lost her balance on a rock and fell," Jasper informed as he ran a hand over his sweating forehead. He was clearly panicking. "Will she be okay?"

"She'll be fine, just call the emergency," Monty shouted to Octavia.

"Uh..." Clarke groaned. “Just take me back to the house, please. I can handle this myself. ”

"Don't even think about it, Clarke," Bellamy said. He came over and touched Murphy's shoulder to let her go, and when he did, Bellamy picked her up and ran with her toward the car. “Octavia! You coming?"

Octavia did not answer. She took one of Raven's hands and pulled her to the car.

“Don't worry guys. I'll give news as soon as we arrive, okay?” Raven shouted and everyone waved goodbye.

\--

**II — Clarke**

Worse than break the ankle was to have ruined the weekend of her friends.

She remembered little of the moment she fell on the floor in pain until she reached the hospital, but all she was aware of now was Bellamy, Octavia, and Raven staring at her in fright in the inn room.

"Hey..."

"You almost scared me to death, Clarke!" Raven yelled and Clarke closed her eyes still upset that they were still upset. "Are you okay?"

Clarke looked at her feet. "It doesn't hurt anymore" She risked looking at Bellamy but he remained with his arms crossed over his chest and his face serious. "Sorry for worrying you and ruining the weekend." Everyone remained silent."You can still enjoy it without me..." she murmured and tried to smile.

"The next time I tell you not to get on the damn rock you hear me, okay?" Octavia, who was sitting next to Bellamy before, got up and hugged Clarke. "I need eating something. Are you hungry?"

Clarke shook her head and Octavia and Raven left the room.

When she and Bellamy were alone, all Clarke wanted to do was hide under the sheet and not have to listen to his speech. She was fully aware of how protective Bellamy was.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked. Bellamy swallowed. “It was an accident, Bellamy. Accidents happen. You don't have to look at me that way.”

"The last time I was so nervous Octavia was 10 years old and wanted to climb a damn tree." Clarke laughed and saw Bellamy's lips tremble to form a smile too. "Please, don't scare me like that anymore, promise?"

"Promise. I just have weak feet, that's all.” She bit her lip, and Bellamy nudged her feet in teasing. "Ouch," she growled in pain.

"Sorry."

Clarke smiled to make sure everything was fine.

For a moment it was like she was 14 again, maybe if he touched her ankle again Bellamy could also feel what she felt years ago, but instead, Clarke saw him swallow and get out of bed.

“You need resting. I'm going to go down and eat something,” he said.

She nodded and saw him leave the room.

It was foolish to think something might awaken in him what she also felt. So Clarke rested the head on the pillow and in a few seconds she was sleeping.

\--

Clarke really started to believe she could handle Gina and Bellamy playing the couple next to her. She no longer bothered so much when the girl commented on how wonderful Bellamy was. Nor did she feel like rolling her eyes every time she noticed that Bellamy was texting his girlfriend. Whether she liked it or not, it was something she would have to accept. And she was learning to accept. Until…

Clarke and Octavia had agreed to go out together and while waiting for Octavia to finish getting ready, Bellamy and Gina were in the kitchen laughing and talking.

 _"Why are you taking so long?"_ She texted Octavia.

 _"Just two more minutes,"_ Octavia replied.

Clarke put the phone on her lap and snorted impatiently. Perhaps it would be better to wait in the yard and avoid having to listen to Bellamy and Gina and their passionate giggles.

But before Clarke could make up her mind, Gina suddenly appeared and sat down beside her.

"Where are you guys going?"

"Hm..." Clarke stammered trying forming a coherent response, but she couldn't take her eyes off what Gina was holding in her hand. "We have a habit of drinking coffee at a coffee shop nearby." She finally answered and looked at her.

"Nice."

"You can come if you want."

Clarke and her stupid habit of being kind. She prayed Gina would refuse.

“I can't, sorry. Bellamy and I decided to stay home today.”

"Cool..." Clarke found her voice again when she said, "I didn't know you drank soju too."

"Oh." Gina looked at the bottle in her hand. “Bellamy made me try it. He said it was his favorite drink and it really is a delight. Have you ever tried it?"

Something inside Clarke squirm with… anger? Disappointment? She wasn’t sure.

When Clarke was 16, Bellamy took her to a bar to teach her how to drink and how not to get drunk and soju was the first alcoholic drink she put in her mouth. Bellamy explained this was his favorite drink and that is why he also wanted Clarke to try it.

She loved it.

It wasn't like this was their sacred drink. But for some reason, she always believed it was special. When she was 16 and he took her to the bar? That moment was special for both of them.

Apparently no. Apparently he didn't care.

"Yeah, I have tried it." she swallowed.

"Oh, by the way, how's your ankle?"

"My ankle?" Clarke forgot about her physical pain for a few seconds. “Oh. My ankle... It's better, thanks. Uh... Octavia is taking too long, I'll see if she needs help. Excuse me."

Clarke got up and went up the stairs. She needed getting out of that situation as soon as possible.

\--

A few weeks later, Clarke decided to adopt a dog. And the perfect opportunity came up when she saw an NGO on Facebook organizing an adoption fair that month. So, the next day, she took her father to the place, so they could choose one together.

Since she was little, she wanted to have a puppy, but her mother, Abby, said that they were a lot of work and Clarke was not ready for such a responsibility. Not when she was 10 years old, neither when she was 18.

Honestly, it had been years since she'd known what it was like to care for another living being who depended on her for a living. Jake even gave her a cactus as a gift, but it didn't demand as much attention and was boring. And maybe she forgot to water it.

She wanted a dog. Big or small, furry or not. A puppy that could wag its tail in happiness every time she got home. That would lick her face and wake up for work. She wanted the responsibility of having to remember to buy food whenever she went to the supermarket.

When morning came, it was hotter than usual, and Clarke decided she could finally wear her favorite sundress.

As soon as they arrived at the fair, Jake stopped to play with one of the animals and Clarke walked away to one of the tables where one of the organizers was talking to two children.  
He explained what they would have to do now that they had adopted a puppy: vaccinations, feed... affection. The children were delighted.

"What about you? Have you chosen which one to take home?”

Clarke looked away from the children to him. The man was tall, but not much taller than her father, he was black and was smiling like those salesmen in stores when they are determined to make you buy something.

"Oh..." Clarke blushed. "I don't even know where to start."

"Hm..." he put his hand on his waist pretending to think about her predicament. "You can try to play with them and see which one suits your personality."

Clarke smiled and accompanied him to the place the animals were exposed. When they approached, Jake was sitting on the floor with two puppies in his lap.

“They are so cute, Clarke. Look,” Jake lifted one of the puppies and placed it in Clarke's hands. "I want to take them all home."

Clarke laughed at the dramatic features that Jake did and crouched down next to him. Jake was still laughing when he looked at the man who was standing there watching them.

"Hey, I know you," Jake said. "You are Wells Jaha, aren't you?"

Wells rubs his head embarrassed.

"Yes, yes, I am."

"Where do you guys know each other?" Clarke asked.

"His father was my boss," Jake explained. "How is your father, by the way?"

"Uh... he passed away two years ago, sir."

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry.” Wells nodded and Jake stood up to take a closer look at the boy. "What about you coming to dinner with us tonight?"

Clarke saw him blush. She smiled.

"Yeah, sure. It will be a pleasure."

"I think I'll take this one." Clarke decided and raised one of the puppies towards his father. "What do you think, dad?"

Jake did a thumb up with his fingers and everyone laughed.

\--

Wells was incredibly fun. Clarke sat at the dinner table and watched with delight as her father served them. They talked as if they had been friends for years.

Wells had a wide smile and put his hand on his belly whenever he laughed. He wore a navy blue social shirt with sleeves rolled up to the elbows and had a watch on his right wrist. He was attractive, for sure.

The puppy that Clarke adopted was still asleep on the sofa at their home, and Clarke got up every now and then to see if everything was okay, like a first-time mother with her baby.

She had not yet chosen a name but has been sure that as soon as Octavia learned of the adoption she would bring in the most creative names possible.

As soon as dinner was over, everyone gathered in the living room to talk and drink wine. Clarke heard Wells talk about his father, his travels around the world and all the adventures he had faced. It was as if a man of 100 years of wisdom was attached to this boy of perhaps 28 years old. The more he talked about his life, the more Jake was impressed and the more Clarke laughed at the lovely situation that was formed. It was as if Clarke's father had found his lost son.

When Wells thanked him for dinner and the conversation, he got up to leave. Jake asked Clarke to take him to the door.

"Thanks again for the night, Clarke."

“It was my pleasure. I had fun."

"Yeah... me too."

Wells stood at the door and stared at her, and Clarke didn't know what to do or what to say. Close the door in his face? Maybe something had gotten stuck on her tooth during dinner? What was wrong?

"Uh... Clarke..." he started. "Maybe we could grab a coffee one of these days? I mean… Just you and me?"

Clarke heard but did not understand. Was he asking her out? Clarke? In a flowery dress and high heels?

It had been a while since anyone paid attention to her that way. And Wells was interesting and fun and... well, she concluded selfishly, if Bellamy could have Gina, she could have a Wells.

"Yeah, why not," she replied smiling.

\--

It didn't take long for Clarke to realize she and Wells would be nothing but friends. And it wasn't like she hadn't tried. She tried. A lot.

He made her laugh, he was smart and handsome and he had everything to be the perfect boyfriend. But Clarke didn't feel like holding his hands during the date. She didn't want to know what his kiss was like and didn't feel her heart racing with excitement. And as much as she hated it, it was Bellamy she thought about.

She wanted to tell him about Wells. About how funny he was, and he knew how to speak French. Clarke wanted Bellamy to be there to hear Wells' stories because she was sure he would have some smart comment to add.

Suddenly, she was on a date with Wells Jaha but thinking about another man. And that was unfair to Wells. Not even with herself.  
\---

**I — Bellamy**

Bellamy got the job he had applied for. A book publisher in the downtown hired him as a writer/proofreader and articles online editor and honestly, read and get paid for it? It was the perfect job.

"What are we going doing to celebrate?" Octavia asked.

"Celebrate? But I haven't even worked there yet.”

"It doesn't matter, Bellamy." Octavia shrugged and took the phone out of her bag. "We need getting everyone together and drink."

"Or... can we just stay at home, relaxing and talking?" Octavia made a face and he soon gave up. There was no way to argue with Octavia without it taking two hours of arguments from both sides. Someone had to give in and Bellamy already understood that he would have to do it often. "How is Clarke's ankle by the way?"

“She's fine. Her mother is a doctor, you know. She'll be fine.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. He only cared about her. It was normal to want to have news.

"Ah, damn it."

"What is it?" Bellamy asked.

"Clarke is not going to be able to come with us today."

"Why not?"

"Apparently, she has a date,"

"A date?" Bellamy sat up on the couch and frowned suspiciously. Since when had Clarke made time for dates with a broken ankle? "With whom?"

Octavia locked her phone and went to get Bellamy's. "I dunno. She doesn't want to tell me by text message. Here,” Octavia opened her brother's contact list. "Give me Murphy's number. The bastard has changed his number, and he hasn't given me it yet."

While Octavia was distracted arranging the meeting with their friends, Bellamy couldn't stop thinking about Clarke. And her date.

The two had not seen each other for a few days, and the distance was beginning to bother.

–-

**II — Clarke**

"Who's Wells?" Octavia asked as soon as she sat down on Clarke's couch. "And who is this one?!" she shouted when a puppy jumped on her lap licking her face. “My god, but this is the cutest puppy in the world. Hi, Jake! ”She waved a hand when Clarke's father came down the stairs toward the kitchen. Jake waved back.

Clarke laughed.

“Wells is a friend. I met him when I went to adopt my dog.”

"A Friend... okay."

Clarke raised an eyebrow at Octavia. “Yeah, Octavia. A friend. You will love him, by the way. He even wants to take us out to dinner tonight.”

“Us? Clarke, I don't want to be the third wheel.”

“I told you... we are just friends. I mean…"

"Hm?"

"He kind of asked me out when we met..."

"I knew it!" Octavia screamed and laughed when Clarke looked at her startled. "I knew it. No one is so devoted to someone like that."

"If you let me, finish talking..." Clarke warned, and Octavia gestured with her hand for her to continue. "He's amazing, fun and funny and we never get stuck in that awkward silence, you know?"

"Okay..." Octavia replied suspiciously. "But…?"

“But… we realized that we were just friends. I didn't feel anything for him. Nor to have another date like that."

"You need to find someone, Clarke."

"Do I? You can be happy alone, you know?”

“That's not what I'm talking about. I know there are people who work single. I just think people sometimes are so obsessed with this internal discourse that we need to be strong and independent on our own when it's okay to have someone to share it with, you know.”

"Wow." Clarke threw a pillow at her. "Are you okay? I never saw you talking like that.”

Octavia smiled and shrugged. "How are you going to name her?" She asked referring to the dog.

"I don't know, I expected you to help me with this."

"Hmm... How about Picasso?"

“Picasso? Like, the artist?”

"Yeah. You're an artist, aren't you?”

"So-so."

"You are an artist..." Octavia warned her.

"Okay." Clarke bit her lip embarrassed and then smiled when Picasso got off her friend's lap and jumped on hers. "Picasso." She repeated smiling.

It was a great name.

-

**I — Bellamy**

It had been hours since Octavia had left the house. Bellamy kept trying to call her, but the calls always went to voicemail.

It was unusual for her to do that. She knew the type of brother she had, so she always told him where she was and who she was with. It wasn't like they were codependent, but it was the way they were raised and Bellamy was always around to control things when something got out of control.

Bellamy also tried to call Raven and Clarke but the calls also went to voicemail and even text messages were not being read. Something had happened. It was not possible everyone had suddenly disappeared from the map.

Bellamy would be ready to call his friends to find out if they had news of his sister when he heard the door handle move and Octavia, Raven, and Clarke enter the house.

He has never been so angry in his life.

For a moment, he closed his eyes and sighed with relief. They were fine. But seconds later, Bellamy felt his blood heat up. Crossing his arms over his chest, he faced the girls.

"Where the hell were you, Octavia?" His voice was harsh but still low.

"Hey, calm down." Octavia approached him, apparently scared. "I'm fine."

"Do you know how many times I called you?" Bellamy avoided looking at Clarke but noticed Raven roll her eyes at the situation. "Do you know what time is it? I thought something had happened.”

“My battery is dead, okay? I didn't think we were going to be out that long.

"Where were you?"

"We went to dinner with Wells," Clarke interjected, and as soon as he looked at her, he noticed her step back in hesitation.

"Wells?"

"Yeah, Wells.” Raven reaffirmed.

"Who the hell is Wells?"

"Oh, It's the dog's guy,” Octavia replied, and Bellamy looked at Octavia incredulously. She laughed. “Clarke adopted a dog, you know? Picasso.”

For a moment it was a lot of information for him to assimilate. Wells? Picasso? What?

“Dog's guy? Do you have a dog now?” Clarke nodded. "Since when?"

"Uh..." Clarke looked at Raven, but she paid no attention, distracted on her phone. Clarke looked at Octavia, but she was already out in the kitchen. Clarke looked at Bellamy. “It's been a few days. Wells was one of the volunteers.”

"Whatever." Bellamy shrugged and turned to go up to her room when she felt Clarke's hands under her wrists.

"Wait." He turned to face her. "Octavia didn't do it on purpose, and you know that."

"Whatever, Clarke."

"You are obviously upset."

"No. I'm not."

"Are you sure? Because you are doing that face. ”

“I'm not making a face. This is my only face.”

"Bellamy..." Clarke murmured.

"You two look like an old couple arguing, huh." Octavia suddenly shows up, holding an ice cream pot in her hands. “I told you, Bell. It was an incident. My cell phone discharged, and I had no way to send news. Will not happen again, okay."

Bellamy did not answer and went up to his room. Honestly, it wasn't just Octavia not answering his calls and that it scared him. That was it. But it was also the fact that suddenly, his sister was out to hangouts with Clarke's friends that he didn't even know existed.

They used to tell each other everything, but suddenly Clarke had dates and adopted a dog, and she chose not to tell him. When did this happen?

–-

**II — Clarke**

 _"We could watch Back to The Future, Thursday night."_ She typed.

 _"I work on Thursday night,"_ he replied.

Didn't he?

 _"So come over here on Saturday."_

 _“I can't. I will help Octavia clean the house. ”_

 _“Bellamy. When are you going stopping avoiding me? ”_

 _"Me? But we're talking, aren't we? ”_

 _"Bellamy."_

 _"Clarke."_

Clarke rolled her eyes irritably. She hated how she could hear his voice, or the way he probably had his lips half-closed, and used periods and short phrases when he was angry.

 _“I am not to blame for what happened. When you want to talk, you know my number. ”_

Clarke hung up and tried to ignore the anger she was suddenly feeling. Bellamy had no reason to be angry with her. It was Octavia who forgot to charge her phone, not her. And even if it was, they were both adults and could take care of themselves.

 _Asshole,_ she thought. --

Bellamy and Clarke never fought. They argued, of course, but they never fought. Except once when the two got so drunk they barely remembered what happened the next morning.

It was the last year of high school, and Raven had thrown a party at her house.

He wasn't sure how to he had drunk so much, but now all he knew was that his stomach was twisting in pain and his head looked like it was going to explode.

Around one o'clock in the morning, to escape the noise and mess Bellamy went up the stairs and entered the first room with the door open, dragging himself to the bed and lying down.

"Never again in my life do I drink this much." He grunted aloud.

"I agree." Someone murmured beside him and Bellamy stood up, startled.

"Clarke?"  
She took the pillow off her face and looked at him. The messy hair, the makeup was far from touched up and so destroyed as he was.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Probably the same as you." Clarke closed her eyes again. "I never drink that much again in my life."

"Urgh," Bellamy grunted and went back to lie down next to her.

The two stood there looking at the ceiling hoping that in some miraculous way they could sober up.

“I like your dress. It's cute," he said.

"Wow, you must be very drunk." Clarke laughed, and Bellamy looked at her seriously. "Oh, are you serious?"

"What? Can't I praise you?”

"Hm... I would take this more seriously if you weren't as drunk as me." She giggled, and Bellamy noticed the way she lifted her dress strap covering her neckline."Uh... I like that shirt color on you too."

 _Dark red._ He thought. _Your favorite color._

It was a good sign that she had been paying attention. Either she or that was just being polite.

"How are you going getting home?" Bellamy asked.

"Finn will probably take me."

 _Finn._ They had been going out together for a while. Bellamy never understood why she was dating that boy. And not just because Bellamy liked Clarke, but because everyone knew that Finn cheated on Clarke and she apparently turned a blind eye to it.

"Isn't he as drunk as you are?" He asked.

“He knows how to drink, Bellamy. He's an adult. ”

"If I can remember correctly, I also taught you how not to get drunk and here you are."

"Maybe I'm not so grown-up."

Annoyed, Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“You'd better spend the night here, Clarke. It's not safe for you to leave like that. ”He turned to look at her and saw Clarke shrug. "Why do you still date this guy?"

Maybe it was alcohol or maybe it was the certainty that he wouldn't remember that conversation the next day, but something inside Bellamy was restless and he needed answers. His voice was harsh and bitter, and Bellamy noticed Clarke tensing beside him. She pursed her lips as if to avoid a fight.

"Why do you care about that, huh?" Clarke looked away from him. "You should be worried about your girlfriend."

“Bree? What does she have to do with it?”

"Nothing. Just like Finn has nothing to do with this conversation.”

Bellamy ran his hands through his hair.

"Clarke." He started trying to control his tone. “You know what kind of person this guy is. He… he cheats on you.”

"My God, I hate you." Clarke stood up and so did Bellamy.

"Wait. Clarke… I'm sorry.” He took her wrists and Clarke looked at him again. There were tears in her eyes, but he also felt his chest hurt. They never argued, never. But he wanted so much to yell at her right now. How Clarke could be with someone who didn't care about her feelings or who wasn't there now, with her drunk and in need of someone. How could she choose him, when she could have... him?

"Is the speech over yet?" Clarke released the wrists from his hand. “And not that you care, but Finn isn't going to take me home because we broke up a few hours ago. Guess what. I saw him kissing a girl in the bathroom. Great way to start the college year, isn't it?”

Bellamy didn't know how to respond and just watched Clarke open the door and disappear down the hallway at Raven's.

A part of him, a scrambled and selfish part, was relieved that Finn and Clarke were no longer together. But another part of him, a little soberer, ached to see Clarke upset.

He should have been smarter and realized she was not well. They were friends, and that was what friends did: they take care of each other.

That night, the two never spoke again, but Bellamy kept her eyes on Clarke until the time he saw her through the window as she got into a car with Octavia by her side.

If they remembered that discussion the next morning, neither of them would bring it up again.  
\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make everything a little bit easier. Thank you for reading! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**III - Wells**

It had been a few weeks since Wells realized that Clarke had been weird.

Since they met, it was easy to maintain the friendship beyond the bond he had with her father, Jake. Clarke was fun, smart and empathetic. But she was also stubborn and perfectionist and she hated it when he texted in the morning

Wells liked Clarke. Unfortunately, their relationship did not develop the way he expected but even so, he learned to have a great friend in her.

And because she was his friend, he noticed the way she kept looking at her phone while they were drinking coffee at Starbucks.

Clarke was frowning and biting her lip, making them red with pressure. Wells tried to be as less invasive as possible.

"Did something happen?" He asked.

“Uh? No. Nothing.” She put the phone on the table and pretended she was paying attention to him.

"I know people tend to ignore others when they're on their cell phones, but you're not like that." Wells rested his head with one hand and watched her. "Something happened."

Clarke sighed loudly and he knew he was right.

"We are friends, right?"

"Sure."

"And isn't it weird if I talk about someone else with you?"

You mean romantically?" Wells laughed. “Clarke. Spit it out."

"It's just... uh..." her cheeks flushed and Wells smiled. "Remember Octavia?"

"The one who went to dinner with us that day?"

Clarke nodded. "I may have a crush on her brother."

"Bellamy," Wells remembered.

"How do you know his name?"

"How I haven't forgotten his name, you mean." Wells saw her confused expression and laughed. It was so obvious and yet Clarke couldn't see. “Clarke. You mention this guy every time we talk. ”

"Is it that obvious?"

“Pretty much, yeah. I just didn't get why this was a problem. ”

"Bellamy has a girlfriend, Wells." She looked away from him and murmured, "And I might have brought the two together."

"And why would you do that?"

Clarke shrugged. "I don't know. It would be strange if I didn't. Nobody knows I like him. ”

And then Wells decided to pry.

He still hasn't met Bellamy, but how bad could that be? From what Clarke said, Bellamy seemed like a nice guy. And besides that, he was already friends with Octavia, which might make conversation easier.

And everything became propitious when Octavia invited him to go to a bar with them. Wells didn't drink and was not the type to get drunk or tipsy, so he didn't have much experience in places like Clarke's friends were used to.

He arrived late and when he approached the table everyone was already there, laughing and talking. Wells approached Clarke.

"Hey, you," he said.

Clarke smiled with flushed cheeks and stood up to hug him. Wells smiled because Clarke was in high heels, and yet she had to keep on her tiptoes to hug him.

"I might have gotten lost on the way," he said, sitting next to her.

Wells looked over the group around him and noticed Octavia whispering to a boy. Bellamy. That was certainly Bellamy.

"Don't worry. Not everyone knows this side of town, ”Raven said, handing him a glass of what he judged was beer.

The group was fun. Jasper and Monty were fun and Wells soon learned that they loved to tease Murphy. Octavia and Raven had already dragged Clarke to dance and would not be returning anytime soon. He then focused his attention on Bellamy.

Bellamy had his arm against the back of the chair and seemed to have his attention away from what was happening on the table. Wells followed his gaze and noticed he was watching Clarke and the girls laughing and having fun.

 _Interesting._

“We haven't been introduced yet. I'm Wells. ”He held out his hand and looked at Bellamy with suspicious eyes.

"Bellamy," he replied.

"So, Bellamy..." Wells sat down beside him. "I know how close you and Clarke are to each other, and you probably know her better than I do, so I wanted to ask your help."

"My help?"

"Yeah. I want to give her a present, and since we started dating a little while ago…” Wells paused and noticed the confused expression on Bellamy's face. He tried not to laugh. "I'm still unsure of anything that will make her happy."

Bellamy turned his head to look for Clarke in the crowd, and that already gave all the answers Wells was looking for. He waited patiently while Bellamy composed himself.

“Uh… Of course. Clarke loves drawing. You can start there.”  
“Yeah… but I heard that Jake already gave her new brushes and paints last month. I don't want to repeat the present if you know? "

"Sure..." Bellamy took the drinking glass from the table and finished. “Clarke loves David Bowie and Pink Floyd, so maybe you should try creating playlists of her favorite songs. I can show you what they are if you want. "

"Sure, what do you-"

"And she loves hot chocolate and whipped cream." Bellamy interrupted him. "But don't try to take her to Starbucks, because she hates that place."

Wells thought about how the other day he and Clarke drank coffee there. Clarke never mentioned she didn't like it.

"She says she doesn't understand how anyone can be willing to pay that much for iced tea." Bellamy laughed.

Clarke was sincere and open about her feelings enough with Bellamy to share that she hated Starbucks, but she was willing to go out with Wells to be polite.

While Bellamy continues to list all the things Clarke Griffin enjoyed, it was at that moment when Wells realized that the two were so in love with each other and did not admit it.

"I hope I helped," Bellamy concluded.

Wells smiled. "More than you think, Bellamy."

A few seconds later, as the girls returned to the table, Clarke stopped halfway when she saw Bellamy and Wells talking.

"You met."

"Oh. Yeah. He's just like you told me he would be." Wells replied and saw Clarke lower her head in embarrassment.

Wells couldn't reach Clarke and talk to her privately because Octavia and Raven surrounded her with laughter and jokes and Clarke was easily distracted.

\--

**II - Clarke**

"You said what?!" Clarke almost shouted as she and Wells walked together to the school where Clarke worked.

"It was a lie for just reasons." He shrugged.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I couldn't stand to see you sulking in the corners and distracted waiting for his text messages, Clarke."

“And your solution for that was to tell him that we are dating?

“Clarke. Listen to me.” Wells stopped walking and took her by the shoulders. "He likes you."

Clarke laughed. “You don't know what you're talking about. He has a girlfriend, Wells. ”

"He and Gina broke up."

"What?" She looked at him incredulously. "How do you know that, and I don't?"

"Because you aren't paying attention, Clarke!" He released her and put his hand on his face. "I heard him and Octavia talking at the bar."

"I didn't know you were the spy type." She started walking again but couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, hey. You're happy! You were happy they broke up! ”Wells reached out and hugged her by the shoulders as they continued walking.

“I feel so stupid. Gina's my friend too. ”

"Yeah, but you are not in love with her."

"Wells."

"What? Clarke. Put an end to this torture and tell him how you feel;”

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“It's not because they broke that it means something to us. Bellamy doesn't see me that way.”

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"This." He gestured vaguely with his hands. "You like pining after him."

"What? No, of course not."

The two stopped walking when they arrived at the school gate.

“Clarke. You had to see the way he looked when I told him we were dating. And the way he listed all the ways to please you? He likes you. Believe me."

But she had no way of knowing that. Not until she heard it from his mouth.

\--

"So, what are we going to do at the girls' night?"

Raven asked excitedly as she poured more wine and handed it to the girls.

"We could test that board game."

"I have a headache just thinking about playing that," Octavia complained. “Seriously, who needs a rules manual and video tutorial to play a game? It was my brother who recommended you to buy this, right?” Octavia asked looking at Clarke.

"Uhmm... maybe." Clarke smiled and stood up to pick up the game box. "But Monty also said it was cool, and we can trust Monty, right?"

"Since when?" Raven grunted.

The girls were arranging the map and cards on the table when the doorbell rang.

"Are we waiting for someone?"

"No..." Clarke got up to answer the door and halfway through the door, he wondered if he cared if someone saw her in pajamas already. She decided not to. “Oh. Gina. Hi. ”

Clarke kept forgetting they were friends. She had made a terrible mistake when asked Gina to join her friends that first night, but she still hoped that meetings with her would be limited to days at work. Apparently, it was not.

"Clarke... Hi. I hope I'm not bothering you."

"No, of course not. Come in."

Clarke watched Gina join her friends around the coffee table and sat down next to her.

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh... yes. It is. I just needed talking to someone.” Gina shrugged.

Clarke was suddenly nervous. Let this not be about Bellamy. But what were the chances of not being about him? Clarke already knew the two were split out.

"Great. So let's drink wine, play cards and discuss our problems. How about it? ”Raven stood up and headed for the kitchen to get another glass.

"Sounds good."

It was an awkward situation, to say the least. Clarke no longer felt comfortable playing or chatting with friends. And the fact that Gina felt comfortable enough to come to her house without being invited, made her wonder when she let things get so complicated.

While the girls played and talked, Clarke unconsciously dissociated herself from the moment. She let Gina play when it was her turn, and took a book to read, not caring if it was strange or rude.

"Are you ok?" Raven whispered to Clarke.

Clarke looked up from the book to look at her. "Sure, why?"

"I know this isn't the most exciting card game in the world..." Raven threw her head to the side, studying Clarke. "But you weren't bothered like that before."

"Nah, I'm fine." Clarke tried to smile but by the look of Raven, she knew she would have to explain later.

Raven rolled her eyes. “Anyway. And you, Gina. How are things with Bellamy? ”

 _Oh shit. Raven._

"We broke up."

"What? Why?"

"Actually, that's why I came here." Gina placed the deck of cards on the table and for a moment she looked uncomfortable with whatever she wanted to vent. "I like Bellamy."

“Uh… sorry. I need to prepare myself to hear this. ”Octavia interrupted her. "It is always very strange to hear about my brother's relationships."

Gina laughed.

"I like _like_ him," she continued. "But he was always so emotionally distant from me."

"Emotionally distant?" Raven pressed.

“Yeah… I don't know how to explain it. But it's like he doesn't want to commit to me. Or did not see a future in our relationship.”

“Which is totally my brother's move. You were his first serious girlfriend in years. ”

"Years?"

"Yeah."

It was not entirely true. Bellamy has always dated. Always. The girls just didn't last more than a few weeks or days. He liked going out with them, drink with them, and even sleep with them, but Clarke couldn't remember the last time she saw him taking on a girl for friends or family. Until _Gi-nah._

Gina tossed her hair behind her shoulders and picked up her glass again, taking another sip of wine.

“I feel like an idiot now. So maybe I should be more understanding? And talk to him?”

"Yeah, I mean, I think that-"

"It's not a good idea." Clarke shook her head interrupting Octavia before she could think twice about what she was doing. "I mean, I think... that when a relationship doesn't work out the first time, the best it's to move on."

"You think so?" Gina asked.

Clarke nodded.

No! What's that? ” Octavia raised her voice. “Gina. Maybe you should just tal- ”

"Octavia." Clarke started again trying to keep her cool and voice low. “You heard her. Bellamy is clearly not ready for a new relationship. She better move on. ”

"Or... should she just talk to him What's wrong with you?"

Octavia was clearly confused and visibly irritated, but Clarke didn't care. She could feel her blood boil and if she didn't control herself in an instant a fight would start.

"Clarke," Raven spoke for the first time. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The two got up and Raven dragged her into the middle of the hall that led to the rooms in the house.

"What is happening?"

"What do you mean?" Her voice was so harsh even to her own ears.

"Don't try to do this to me." Raven pointed her index finger at Clarke's face, and Clarke rolled her eyes, never been more bored in her life. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you trying to sabotage their relationship?"

"What?" Clarke frowned in disbelief. "No. Of course not. Why do you think I would do that?”

“I don't know, it looked like you were jealous. Wait, are you jealous?”

Raven stared at her waiting for an answer or a denial but Clarke couldn't answer or deny it. She had been in that situation for so long and was exhausted from lying and hiding.

"My goodness. You're jealous!” Raven put her hands over her mouth with the realization and Clarke started walking towards her room ignoring her, Raven followed. "Clarke, talk to me."

Clarke sat on the bed frustrated.

"Does Octavia know about this?" Raven asked.

"No."

"Does Gina know about this?"

"Do you really think that if she knew she would come and talk to me about it here?"

Raven nodded. "Does Bellamy know about this?"

“Oh, Gosh. Raven, no. Nobody knows that.” Raven sat next to her. "Just you. And Wells.”

“Wells? But wait. Aren't you two dating?”

"No... He made this up because..." Clarke couldn't finish the sentence and felt even more stupid. "Uh, Wells thinks Bellamy likes me too."

"Oh," Raven said nothing more for a few seconds and Clarke thought the conversation was over. I was not. "So you are the reason Bellamy is emotionally distant’? Wait. Why does Wells know that and I don't?”

Clarke shrugged. "It was easier to talk about it with someone who didn't know Bellamy."

"You like Bellamy..." Clarke looked at her bored. "Sorry, it will be a while until I accept this."

Clarke lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.

"When are you going to tell Octavia?" Clarke shrugged. “Clarke. You know she'll be upset if you keep it a secret, right?”

"You aren't mad."

“Yeah, but I am not his sister. And besides that, you need to resolve this situation. It is increasingly clear something is bothering you.”

"I don't even know how to tell Bellamy this, Raven."

“You two have always been friends. Be honest with him.”

Clarke stood up, removing the hair that was blocking her vision. “And how do I start that? 'Hi, Bellamy. I know I got you a girlfriend, but now I kind of want to be her’?”

“Clarke. Don't think too much about it. You'll end up going crazy.”

“You don't understand... That's not what I'm afraid of. I am afraid of being rejected. I cry just thinking about hearing that he sees me only as his little sister. That I'm crazy for having those feelings and even worse, for having lived with it for years and never being able to move on.”

Raven said nothing more, and for that, Clarke was grateful. She didn't need to be pressured anymore. They were both quiet in the room, and all they could hear was Gina and Octavia's laughter from downstairs.

–-

Maybe it would be better to talk about it right away and maybe, just maybe, Octavia would be understanding and stop defending Gina when she should be by Clarke's side in this situation.

She was ready. She would talk to Octavia. Bellamy... she would fix it later.

The next day, Clarke drove to Blake's house and without thinking too much, knocked on the door.

"Octavia, I need to talk to you," Clarke announced and without expecting much greetings, she just sat on the couch. Her legs were shaking so badly, she was afraid she might pass out right there.

Octavia held the door open for a few seconds, still frightened by the way she had entered.

"Okay, you scared me." She closed the door and approached Clarke. "What's wrong?"

"Is your brother home?"

"Yeah, he's in his room."

"So we better talk outside."

"What? Clarke, you're scaring me. What is happening?"

There was no way to convince her Bellamy couldn't hear this conversation. After all, what reason would Octavia have to hide something from her brother?

"You know you're my best friend, right?"

Octavia sat down next to her. "Sure, but..." Octavia tried to smile but it was noticeable the discomfort. “You're making me nervous. Did you do something wrong? Do you owe traffic money? Did you kill someone and need my help to hide the body? ”

"What?" Clarke started to laugh. "No, no. Of course not."

Octavia sighed with relief. "Sorry, I'm thinking of the worst-case scenarios."

"That's not it. Nothing illegal. I just need to tell you something and don't know where to start. ”

“Start at the beginning. Spit it out."

That was it. Either she admitted it now or maybe Clarke would never have the courage to bring it up again.

"I like Bellamy."

Octavia did not answer and the house went into terrifying silence.

"Well, that's a good sign since you've been friends for years, right?"

Octavia started to laugh, and Clarke wanted to throw herself out the window.

“No, you don't understand. I like your brother. Like... I have a crush on him or am in love with him. Or... I can't stop thinking about him. Or-”

And by Octavia's next expression, Clarke saw the realization manifest on her face.

"Oh."

"Yeah"

“Bellamy? Do you like Bellamy? My brother? ” Clarke nodded. "Since when?"

"I don't know... I just can't do this anymore."

"This what?"

"This, Octavia." Clarke gestured vaguely and how she wished she could cry. There was nothing worse in the world than to like someone who doesn't like you. "I can no longer stay in the same environment as he or Gina without having a fit of jealousy.”

"But they two broke up."

"I know, but that doesn't-"

Clarke was still gesturing vaguely when something caught her eye on the stairs and she saw it. She saw Bellamy standing with his hands at his sides watching them. Bellamy.

The words died in Clarke's mouth, and for a few seconds, she forgot what it was like to breathe. Of course, it would happen that way. Of course, he would hear her confess her feelings for him to someone else. "Bellamy..." she murmured and stood up startled.

Clarke panicked. Her ears were throbbing and she could not hear anything or speak anymore. Octavia turned and saw her brother still standing there.

"I need to go to the supermarket. You two need to talk. Now." Octavia murmured and got up to leave the house.

When Bellamy said nothing, Clarke took the initiative. She needed to leave. As soon as possible.

“No, you stay. I… I need to go. I talk to you later."

Whatever they were thinking of her didn't matter. Clarke opened the door and got out of there as soon as possible.

\--

**I - Bellamy**

Bellamy still remembered the day she heard Clarke reject him in front of Raven and Octavia for the first time years ago.

In that same situation, he overheard them talking and the confession happened. What he never expected was Clarke had developed feelings for him over the years, and even worse, he never expected to hear her involuntarily confess again.

"Say something," Octavia said as soon as Bellamy joined her in the living room.

"This is something that she and I need to work out on our own, Octavia."

"And you guys are certainly doing it right." She rolled her eyes bored. "Wait, what are you going to do?"

"Give me your phone."

"For what?"

"Just... give me your phone" and while typing the message, Bellamy continued: "She will only talk to me if she thinks it's you."

"You two will end up driving me crazy."

_We need to talk. Can I go to your house?_

“Put ‘xx’ at the end of the message,” Octavia asked.

"'xx'?"

“No time for explanations, Bellamy! She'll suspect it's not me... just put it on, okay? ”

Bellamy rolled his eyes.

_We need to talk. Can I go to your house? xx_

–-

 **II - Clarke**

Clarke lay down on the bed and answered Octavia's message. Perhaps it would be better for the two of them to talk away from Bellamy's ears. She would confront him at some point, but by his earlier reaction, Bellamy was not ready for that now.

Octavia would be there in less than twenty minutes, so Clarke decided to change clothes by putting on something more comfortable and waiting for her friend in her room. She had already warned her father of her arrival.

Distracted, Clarke was still playing with Picasso on her lap when someone knocked on the door. Octavia. She got up to open, but it was not who she expected.

"Bellamy..."

In jeans and a white shirt. His still-wet hair told Clarke that he had taken a quick shower, and besides, his perfume was unmistakable.

Clarke took a wrong step back. For years she had lived with this man in her life, but now it seemed that she had forgotten what it was like to breathe near him. "Come in." She asked and made room for him.

The two sat on the bed. One next to the other, not knowing where to start or what to say.

\--

**I - Bellamy**

"I sent the text. Not Octavia." Bellamy started.

"I noticed." She tried to smile but went back to playing with the rings on her fingers.

"Clarke, I ..."

"You don't have to do this." Clarke closed her eyes and interrupted him. “I know you don't feel the same way and believe me… I'm going to… I'm going getting over this. I just don't want it to ruin our friendship, Bellamy. We can still be friends, right? ”

"How do you know?"

"What?"

“You said you knew that I don't feel the same way. How do you know that?"

“Bellamy. Come on. ”Clarke rolled her eyes and he saw tears there. "You don't have to be cruel, okay?"

"Clarke." He called her name emphatically trying to remain calm. "How do you know I don't like you?"

“Do you really want to play this game? Okay. Cool. I know the type of girl you like. Which are very different from me. And I know I'm just a little sister to you. ”

"Have I ever said or done anything to prove it?"

"Are you serious?" Clarke wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek.

It was not Bellamy's intention to be cruel. The last thing on his mind was to make her suffer or torture her feelings, but at the same time... he never could understand what wrong he had done all those years that passed the wrong message to her.

"What do I have to do to make you believe I like you?" Bellamy asked suddenly.

"What?"

“Clarke. I like you too. During all these years all I wanted most was to have you for me. And I was so angry to hear you confess this to everyone but me.”

“I… I don't understand. Do you… do you like me?”

"No." he saw her confused expression, and he wanted nothing more than to just kiss her. "It's more like, I may have a crush on you, or I'm in love with you."

Smiling, Bellamy decided to stop thinking so much and start acting with his heart again. He turned towards her and holding Clarke's face in his hands, he kissed her.

–-

**II - Clarke**

And Bellamy Blake was kissing her.

For years, all Clarke could think of when she saw him with other girls was how she wanted him to kiss her in the same way. Let him put his hands on the back of her neck making her whole body shiver. She wanted to be able to stand on tiptoe to reach his face and be able to touch the floor again when feeling his body bending towards hers to make her more comfortable.

But it was not as she had imagined. It was better. It was Bellamy. Kissing her lips until she was breathless and drying the tears from her face with small kisses on her face. It was Clarke unable to stop laughing when she felt him kiss the tip of her nose and tickle his own nose on hers.

"You were always irritated when our friends joked about how we would make a good couple." He murmured to her.

Clarke shook her head and wiped the tears away. "I was fifteen and an idiot."

" _You_ introduced me to Gina."

“You were flirting! In my house. Right in front of me! ”

"Wait. You and Wells…? ” He tried to pull away from her, but Clarke held him by the collar of his shirt.

Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't run away from her again.

“We are just friends. He was testing your feelings for me. ”

"How can he see that and you didn't?"

Before Clarke could answer he kissed her again. She ran her hands through his hair and tangled the strands in her fingers, bringing him closer to her. She felt the skin on her neck prickle and smiled between the kisses.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this." He whispered in her ear when the two parted.

Clarke hid her face in his chest.

"Would you go on a date with me?" She asked quietly and bit her lip and in the few seconds that passed her heart almost stopped beating.

Clarke jumped involuntarily when Bellamy squeezed her waist, teasing her. "I want to go on more than one date with you, Clarke Griffin." He pushed her gently, so he could look her in the eye. "We go to museums, and libraries and have soju together as many times as you want."

"Just the two of us." Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Just the two of us." Smiling, he agreed and went back to kissing her.

–-

**I - Bellamy**

 ****

How is it like to date someone you spent your life treating like your best friend? Is it okay if I hold your hand when we're out in public? Won't you be embarrassed if I kiss you in front of our friends?

They still had a lot to learn about each other because Clarke was not the same Clarke when in a relationship.

She was jealous, subtly possessive. Bellamy would learn she was insecure and quiet when jealous. He would have to learn ways to secure his feelings for her over and over again. Hugging her when she wanted to start a fight, and kissing her lips until she learned he only loved one girl: her.

And over time, Clarke would also learn what it was like to date Bellamy Blake. The way he was also jealous when she forgot for a few seconds and was too kind to a stranger in the supermarket, or at the ice cream parlor, but he would never confess that to her. Instead, subtly, he stayed around her to show everyone that she was accompanied.

They had so much to learn about each other yet.

"I told Gina... about us," Clarke said shyly, running her fingers over his palm.

"Okay. How was that?" He pressed and linked his fingers in hers. Clarke smiled.

“She was surprised, but I don't think she was upset. She said we can still be friends. That a boyfriend shouldn't be a reason for us to fight.”

Bellamy looked at her in surprise. "Wow."

"I know…"

"Bellamy."

"Yeah?"

"When did you start to like me?" Clarke asked.

And Bellamy found it funny to talk about such deep feelings on Monday when he had left work earlier to have lunch with her. The two of them there at school, sitting on the steps sharing a sandwich for lunch.

"I don't know." He replied casually and took a bite of bread and with his mouth full replied: "There was no specific moment."

“Wow. Very romantic.” Clarke rolled her eyes and took the bottle of juice beside her with a sip.

"Uh..." Bellamy looked at the blue sky above him and thought of the best way to explain how he felt about her. “From spring to summer. From summer to fall. And from fall to winter. Do you know when the season changes? Do you know exactly when winter ends and spring beings?”

Clarke looked at him surprised, and he knew he had reached the point he wanted.

"I don’t know exactly when my feelings for you started to grow, Clarke Griffin."

"I can't believe you just quoted a line from my favorite TV show.**" Clarke had tears in her eyes, but still, she laughed softly and lowered her head to avoid looking at him. "You are crazy."

"Hey, it's true." Bellamy put the sandwich on his lap, and touched her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Falling in love with you was inevitable. I always knew that one day it would happen. I just hoped that one day I would be lucky enough and that you would feel the same way about me. ”

"Well, then lucky for you that I feel the same." She replied teasingly and pulled him by the collar of her shirt close to her, kissing him.

It was all so premature Bellamy was still nervous when in public, Clarke kissed him. Or when she ran towards him and hugged him. It was _Clarke_. The girl he dreamed of having for years and who suddenly felt the same way about him.

They hadn't confessed they loved each other yet. Neither of them was ready to say "I love you." And they were fine with that because they had their time. The _timing_ that inevitably brought them to each other.  
–-

  
**Fin!**

The more I’m with you, the more I become attracted to you. It’s such a new feeling, that I’m not used to it yet. That’s all. You take my hand as if it’s no big deal but it makes my heart explode. I’m happy whenever I feel your gaze on me. Every time you call me by my name, I feel like I’ve become a flower. - My First First Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** the TV show reference is a Korean drama called "Romance is a Bonus Book." :)
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, I hope you enjoyed it. Consider leaving kudos and comments. It makes my day. xoxo
> 
> oh! Let's talk on Tumblr! Here's mine: [@doontpanic](https://doontpanic.tumblr.com/post/190370531916/clarke-introduces-bellamy-to-a-friend-and-realizes)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you. If you enjoyed the first part, please, consider leaving kudos/comments. It helps a lot. :)


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